Desperation
by bella c'ella luna
Summary: One-shot, pure smut/lemon. After Jasper almost attacks Bella at her birthday party, he comes to her room to apologize. They try to acclimate Jasper to Bella's scent so that he isn't as affected by her, but their plan goes awry. . .


WARNING: This is a Bella & Jasper lemon. Don't read it if you don't wanna see them get to sexin!!

And, as usual, I don't own Twilight or the characters, blah blah blah SM does.

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"Bella?"

She looked up at the sound of her name. Bella felt her stomach muscles tighten in anxiety. Jasper looked innocent enough, but she had seen several hours ago just how out of control he could be. He watched her curiously from the doorway.

"You don't have to be afraid," he said quickly, putting his hands up in surrender. "I came to apologize."

Bella relaxed slightly and glanced at the window. Jasper followed her gaze.

"Edward isn't here?" he asked, a hint of wonder in his voice.

"He went hunting. He said he'll see me in the morning," Bella replied sadly. "I think he's mad at me."

Jasper shook his head and looked at her sympathetically. "Bella, how could he be mad at you? You did nothing wrong. I should have realized – I should have fed before you came over."

"Why didn't you?" she asked, a hint of accusation in her voice. If Jasper had just been able to control his bloodlust, Edward would be here and her birthday wouldn't have been ruined.

Jasper shrugged guiltily. He stepped into her room and Bella felt another flutter of fear in her stomach. He noticed her anxiety and looked away from her.

"I fed this morning. I thought it was enough. And it would have been, but when you cut yourself…" he trailed off. Jasper took another step in her direction, pausing when Bella straightened up nervously.

"You don't have to be afraid of me," he whispered, frustrated.

"I'm not," Bella replied uncomfortably. She wished Edward was back, because truthfully, she was a little afraid of Jasper.

Her fear of him was not born tonight. The first day she met him, Jasper sized her up with those intense eyes and looked at her like she was the only thing in the world that he wanted.

Bella could get lost in Edward's eyes very easily. But Jasper – looking into his eyes was different. It was more intense and she always had to look away first, before he could see right inside of her. It was hard to do, though, because the same instant that Bella felt the urge to look away she felt the need to step closer and fall right into him.

"I can feel what you're feeling, Bella," Jasper reminded her.

She looked up at him sharply, alarmed. He looked harmless enough, wearing a pair of faded jeans that hugged his hips tightly. His lean build was emphasized by the old Led Zeppelin t-shirt he wore. Sometimes his innocuous appearance let her forget how dangerous his gift could be. He knew _so_ much more than he should. Unlike with Edward, Bella couldn't hide anything from Jasper.

"I'm not feeling _anything,_" Bella retorted defensively. She crossed her arms over her chest to fight off the feeling of exposure she always had around Jasper.

"You're upset Edward isn't here. You're irritated that I'm here, and still afraid of me," he said smoothly, skirting the edge of her room in an attempt to get closer to her. He didn't want her to feel any more threatened than she already did.

"Fine," she huffed. "So what?"

"I didn't come here to upset you," Jasper said mildly. "I just want to apologize. I know I ruined your birthday."

She shrugged and stared at her carpet, hoping that the intense desire for Jasper to leave was getting through to him loud and clear.

"Okay," Jasper sighed. "I'll go. But I really am sorry, Bella. I just – it's hard around you, sometimes."

Bella looked up at him. He was only three feet away from her, staring at her with those penetrating golden eyes. "But why? Edward got used to me, and I'm his singer. Why is it so hard for you?"

"He wasn't used to you right away," Jasper pointed out. "You spent time with him. You allowed him to be close to you and he learned to control himself."

"I spend time with you," Bella responded. "But obviously it's still too much for you."

Jasper crossed his arms over his chest and glared at her. "It's _not_ too much for me. We hardly spend any time together, Bella, so how could I become used to your scent? This is the first time we've even been alone together."

"And you're okay," she said, but it was more of a question.

Jasper gestured to her bed and she nodded. He sat down next to her and inhaled deeply. He hadn't listed all of Bella's feelings for her earlier, simply because he didn't want to embarrass her. But as he inhaled, Jasper could smell it. She was wet. To be able to feel her arousal and now smell it was almost overwhelming for him.

He looked around for the source of it and spotted a book. It was open but face down on her bed. He remembered Bella tossing it to the side when he came in.

"What are you reading?" he asked, ignoring her question.

"Nothing!" Bella blushed, leaning back to block his view of the book.

Jasper grinned and reached behind her too quickly for Bella to stop him.

"Jasper! Stop!" Bella shrieked. She reached for the book but he held it away from her and flipped to the page she had marked.

"Hmmm, Lady Chatterley's Lover," Jasper mused. "I read this a few years back. Pretty explicit, Bella."

"Give it back, Jasper," Bella pleaded.

"You want to read some more?" he asked with a wicked smile.

"Not with you here," Bella scowled. "Give me my book and get out."

"How did Edward get used to your scent?" Jasper asked, abruptly switching topics. He handed Bella her book and she hastily tucked it on her other side, away from his reach.

"Umm…he smelled me a lot," she admitted. Bella tucked her hand behind her ear and glanced at Jasper's denim-clad legs. He sat only a few inches from her. He smelled so good – all the Cullens did.

Jasper inhaled deeply, audibly, and Bella chanced a look at him. His eyes were closed and his head tilted back. She licked her lips and tried to suppress the naughty thoughts that the look of rapture on his face called forth.

"Not exactly like that," Bella said softly, surprised at hearing herself speak.

Jasper opened his eyes and looked at her intently. "Tell me."

Bella sucked in a deep, shaky breath and tilted her head to the side, exposing her neck to Jasper. His eyes flickered from her offered flesh to her eyes. Bella swallowed hard and closed her eyes, partly ashamed at her inexplicable behavior but too aroused to stop herself.

The bed squeaked when Jasper moved closer to her and Bella felt her heart begin to pound. She squeezed her legs together and tried to calm her racing heart. She forced her eyes to remain closed.

Jasper brought his face closer to her neck. She smelled so good, so warm. He resisted the urge to close his eyes and instead focused on Bella's face. He inhaled loudly again and her lips parted. She breathed out of her quivering lips, short little puffs of air that felt warm on his skin.

"Like this?" he asked. His voice sounded husky, to even his own ears.

Bella opened her eyes, surprised to see him so close. "No. He was…closer."

Jasper grabbed Bella and flipped her around, making her straddle his waist. She stared at him with a scandalized expression.

"Jasper!" she exclaimed.

"Bella, I just want to get used to you," he said soothingly, rubbing her lower back. "Then you and Edward don't have to worry anymore."

She licked her lips again and Jasper felt a growl rumble deep in his chest. He didn't want her blood this time.

"Okay," she agreed hesitantly. Bella kept her eyes locked on him and cocked her head to the side again. "Here. This is what we did. Breathe in here."

Jasper nodded and brought his face to her neck. His nose skimmed her skin and Bella shuddered. He laughed gently and pressed his cheek to her skin. He inhaled deeply, smelling her hot, pounding blood, and her soaked panties.

Her hands gripped his shoulders and she unconsciously squeezed him tighter when he rubbed his face on her. Jasper slid his hands to her hips. Bella's breathing became more labored, and he couldn't resist. He yanked her down, grinding her against his erection.

"Oh!" she gasped.

"Bella, you smell so good," he moaned. Bella brought her hands up to his head, threading her fingers through his hair and Jasper was sure she was going to pull him away.

Instead, she held him against her. Jasper groaned and turned his face so his lips were on her heated skin. Bella's hips moved and she rubbed against him.

Jasper opened his mouth and trailed wet kisses along the length of her neck. Bella's grip on his hair tightened and he closed his eyes in pleasure. He thrust up and Bella moaned loudly. He pushed her away and she uttered a cry of displeasure, but then Jasper slid his hands up the front of her shirt.

Bella eagerly leaned back to give him more access and he moved his hands up to her heaving chest. Her breasts fit perfectly in the palms of his hands and when he cupped them, she arched her back and cried out again. Jasper watched her glazed eyes slip halfway closed, only to fly open when he rubbed his thumbs over her erect nipples.

"Jasper," she breathed. "God."

Her lust only spurred him on more. Jasper tore her shirt off of her and made quick work of her bra. He felt Bella's feelings of self-consciousness and shook his head.

"Don't, Bella. You're beautiful," he said simply. Their eyes locked together and Jasper brought his face to her bared chest, feeling her spine stiffen in anticipation. His tongue flicked out and teased one pert nipple and Bella pushed against him until he opened his mouth and sucked hard on one of the nubs.

"Jasper," Bella panted. "Jasper, more."

He easily picked her up, his lips still closed around one of her nipples. Jasper bit down gently and Bella responded enthusiastically. Still standing, he switched breasts and nibbled on the other one. Bella's legs locked around his waist and she began rhythmically moving her pelvis against him, routinely whimpering.

Jasper was going to die if she didn't stop grinding on him. He turned to face the bed and carefully set her down on her back. Bella sat halfway up, supporting her weight on her elbows. Jasper watched her chest greedily; with every move her breasts jiggled and bounced.

He knelt at the side of the bed and unbuttoned her jeans.

"Jasper?" she asked anxiously.

He looked up at her and pulled the jeans down. He tossed them over her shoulder. Bella wore a pair of light blue bikini briefs. Jasper cupped her mound, reveling in the heat radiating from her, and massaged her through the damp cotton.

Bella dropped back onto the bed and raised her hips in an attempt to get the right amount of pressure from Jasper's hand. She couldn't think of anything – not of Edward, of the repercussions of what she was doing – nothing. She could only feel.

Jasper yanked down her panties and before Bella could even lift her head, his mouth was attached to her, spreading her and sucking on the tender flesh between her legs. She cried out and tried to twist away from him but Jasper's grip on her hips tightened and forced her still.

"Jasper! No – nooo," she moaned. She had never – Edward had never – but oh, God, it felt _amazing._

He looked up at her to make sure she was okay. Bella's head moved back and forth, tossing from one side to the next. Her cheeks glowed pink and her lips were swollen and dry from breathing so hard.

"Jasper," she tried once more. "You can't – I mean, I don't want you to – "

"Bella," he said sternly, pulling away from her wet, sweet folds. "I need to smell you everywhere."

"Oh, God," she said in a high-pitched voice. Jasper watched her cup her breasts, her thumbs rubbing her nipples just like he had done earlier.

He returned to her glistening pussy with a vengeance. There were no subtle flicks of his tongue or teasing nips. He devoured her. His tongue lavished attention on her clitoris until Bella was moving herself against him and about to come.

"Please," she encouraged him. "I'm almost – "

Jasper abruptly pulled away from her. Bella let out an angry noise and reached for him, but Jasper shook his head. He shucked his jeans, not even bothering to unbutton them. He wore no underwear and his erection sprung up, free of restraints.

He watched Bella's eyes drop to his dick and she stared at it with unabashed longing. His level of arousal tripled and he purposely let Bella feel it, enjoying the way she gripped the sheets of the bed.

Jasper leaned forward and pushed her further up the bed. Bella's knees pulled up but she kept her legs spread for him, and Jasper lowered himself on top of her. Her hands were instantly all over him, tugging and feeling and exploring.

"Bella," he moaned. "Sweetheart, if you don't stop, I'm going to lose it before we even get started."

"Come on then," she said impatiently, pulling on his curly hair.

He laughed and kissed her lips for the first time. Bella moaned into him and Jasper couldn't take the vibrations she sent running through his body. He moved his pelvis and the head of his dick rubbed against her slippery opening. She jumped at the sensation, then grabbed his hips and tried to push him into her.

Jasper helped her out and grabbed the base of his dick. He rubbed himself against her one more time, still kissing her, and then thrust all the way inside of her.

Bella's body stiffened but she groaned at the same time.

"You're so hot," he hissed, not expecting the combined sensations of tightness, wetness and pure fire. His ass muscles clenched as he desperately tried hold off and not come yet.

"Don't be gentle," Bella begged, and he wondered what she and Edward had done sexually so far.

"You want it hard?" he asked, clarifying.

"Yes," Bella moan.

Jasper adjusted the way he was sprawled on top of her. "Hold onto my shoulders, Bella."

She gripped his shoulders again and Jasper withdrew almost all the way, then pushed into her savagely. Bella cried out so loud that he was afraid he hurt her, but then she was already meeting his next thrust.

"Yes, Jasper!" she gasped.

Jasper pounded into her. He knew he wasn't going to last long, but neither was Bella. She was at her breaking point and they just kept pushing each other further. The sound of his skin slapping against hers caused shivers to run down his spine and he doubled his speed.

Bella's cries reached a loud crescendo and then her walls convulsed around his cock. Jasper groaned and felt himself twitch inside of her. One more thrust and the heat and wet gush of her orgasm overtook him. Jasper pushed all the way inside of her and heard a guttural sound rip from his throat as he came.

Moments later, Bella still trembled from her own fierce orgasm. Jasper rested his head on her breasts, breathing heavy, and closed his eyes. He had never experienced anything so powerful before.

Bella played with his hair and watched him, her expression unreadable. Her emotions were still a haze of post-orgasmic bliss.

"I think I can stand to be around you now," he teased, nuzzling her milky white breast.

Bella smiled, her cheeks blushing, and Jasper laughed.

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Dedicated to Val - Touchstone67 - who makes all of my lovely banners. Thank you to siouxchef, my beta fabulous.

Did you like it? Let me knowwwwww.

LUNA


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